love and heretics

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

This blood is for you….

This blood is for you….

Most of my life, I embraced the story…the “gospel” of Jesus.  I upheld my hands, as tears streamed down my face as I thought of what he had done ….for me.  All my sin, my failures, my stain upon this world…my inadequacies, my darkness…

All of it…taken upon by one who knew no sin.  An innocent, perfection embodied….god in man….

Willing to die….for me….worthless failure…lump of clay….squashed beyond all recognition….

and yet this god man…loved me…cared enough to poor out his lifeblood, and die…for me. To take away all that darkness….

Justification…..’just as if i had no sin”….purified…cleansed…in the blood.

How could I not weep? not love this god-man…? willing to give his very life…for me?

how could I not give my own life…bought by his blood…back to him? Was I not his now? all to jesus…I surrender…All to him i freely give..
“I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.”

And now….?

now I look back upon that same remembering service….one that so many will attend in the morning…

And I realize that I have found peace, that I have come to terms with being human…with making mistakes…with being imperfect. I do not long  for a scapegoat …but rather a chance to atone and amend any wrongdoing with whatever is in my power to do. I have accepted my humanity in all it’s fullness, the good , the bad, and the ugly. If there be a god, I should think he should be able to do the same….

i choose to forgive those around me who hurt me or fail me as so many have also forgiven me for the same. No price exacted….no cost necessary.

not even blood……

could a supreme being (especially the omni sort)

not do the same ?





  1. Like++

  2. That’s one of the best 318 words i’ve ever read.

    • ,oy…..this was rather a reaction to a loved one sharing their service with me….and their treasured sacred moment in time. I felt horrified for now I see it. all so very differently. I do not see or hear or feel the beauty….but instead such services feel horrifying …like a tribute to barbarianism.
      ButThis loved one has read my blog and now instead of rejoicing this morning they have admitted they are weeping for me.
      I think many overlook or downplay how very difficult it. is to comes out of faith when it. is family

      • Sad when it becomes so ingrained.

  3. Hi Holly,
    Was it just me or did your blog go down yesterday? I clicked on it and got a message to say it had been deleted….Anyway, glad to see you’re back! 🙂

    • Yes , it. went down. I tried tidying it up a bit.
      PlayedAround with the settings and what not. 🙂

  4. dimvisionary

    Uhm, wow, terrific post! I can identify.

    Some years ago I discovered a twist on this, an essay by Carl Jung, “Apology to Job”. He explores an idea not usually encountered in your local church regarding the Book of Job and the sacrifice of Jesus.

    Maybe you’ve read Job. In it this one innocent guy, Job, is treated very badly by God. Everything he had and loved is destroyed and he’s never supposed to accuse God or blame him for it. The Book of Job makes God out to be a power-mad jerk, a tyrant.

    Jung goes on to explore the powerful psychology of the sacrifice of Jesus, not as a way for God to die for our sins, but as a way for God to apologize. To Job, to all of us. The sacrifice of Jesus can also be seen as God dying for his own sins against us.

    Anyway, humans rock! Thanks for the inspiration.

  5. dimvisionary

    Ok, correction. The title I’m referring to is “Answer to Job”, a book Jung published in 1952. What I described is only a small part of that work. Gotta love Wikipedia!

    • thanks! I have read Job (and the rest of the bible) many times… “Answer to Job” looks like a very interesting read!

  6. Reblogged this on love and heretics and commented:

    It is coming on that time of year again…..

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