love and heretics

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

Reasons for believing….

When i was a Christian, an atheist friend asked me what were my main reasons for believing in God?

I had a list.

1. Beauty in the world/LOVE. (argument for beauty)

Why would love…beauty be necessary in a naturalistic world?

As said by the great and yet nonexistent Sherlock Holmes πŸ˜‰ ” Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its color are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers.'”

The possibility that we could not see all…that much like the old PBS Painter Bob Ross, we could see a few dark blobs here and there, and think man! that’s ugly!! and not see that it is only the beginning…awaiting the master touches as the blobs took shape and Bob’s masterpieces were revealed….a piece of a puzzle…a microscopic view of the “big picture” so to speak.

The aspects/concepts of beauty and love still haunt me.Β  Though it pays to remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
On the flip side we have the overwhelming argument of Evil, Pain and suffering, and the reason being “free will” rather failing miserably as an explanation….Ultimately the argument of Evil/suffering was my undoing. It was the beginning of my undoing at least.

2.the Power of Christ within you. Changed lives through the holy spirit. God’s breath upon a man, making a difference in a real and noticeable way.

I realized at some point that my belief about this ‘fact’ was highly embellished…(not intentionally mind you, but rather due to a gross neglect of factual information)

Realistically, what I ran into is that we are all the same…

Some,with or without religion, conquer addictions…/change behaviors/lifestyles/personalities…

Some, with or without religion, do not.

In defense of this realization, (or as a rationalization of it) I have seen it said (preached) that the main difference between the believer and the nonΒ  is truly that believers are forgiven, while non believers are not.

The problem with this rationalization is that it appears to contradict the words of Jesus, and the writings in the new testament.

3. Fulfilled prophecies of the bible.

Something i thought pretty cool and fascinating


until i realized just how easy it is to fulfill prophecies. (especially when confirmation bias is found at the outset.)
For Instance, HERE a Chassidic Rabbi makes a startling Discovery….(go on …click the hyperlink for a fun example of fulfilled prophecies…and a rooster……I dare ya… πŸ˜‰Β Β  )

4. Miracles/answered Prayers.

The realization that lives with answered prayers from God,


are very similar to lives without answered prayers from God.

It rains upon the just and the unjust?

Why do we not see miracles today? (real certifiable miracles, not the leg growing kind)?

Are the times for miracles…past? so people can learn to live by…faith? ? ?

My four reasons for believing were whittled away…one by one.

So here I am….

A wife, and mother…a daughter and sister…

at peace with living in the here and now….and enjoying the moments…



  1. Crap is crap, only the real stuff you can put on your roses, thus ensuring ” we have much to hope for from flowers.” πŸ™‚

  2. πŸ˜€

  3. I do so enjoy your honesty in approaching this subject, Holly.

    • I’m with John on this one. Refreshing.

  4. I, too, really like what you’ve written. It’s really good to read about personal experiences. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you John, David, and lively for the kind words.

  5. well written Holly,
    i agree about what you write- my answers parallel yours, as far as i am concerned we are bioloigcal beings driven by our psychological and physical need for survival and reproduction…(i have a very ‘natural selection’ view on life), everything else is just cause and consequence.
    Therefore beauty exists through our mind’s need to fullfill its creative desires (or in the case of our fellow humans, our need to attract a mate), we see things we want to see in seeminly unbelievable events (explaining miracles and prayers…afterall how many atrocities happen in proportion to good things?)
    this may seem a very unromantic view on existance….but i’m a scientist and we’re an unromantic lot (or perhaps that’s just me? πŸ™‚ )

    • thank you rich. πŸ™‚ I find myself or rather my thoughts sometimes at war between science/logic and longing for meaning and purpose..

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