love and heretics

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

The abyss…

I stand at the ledge, looking over the abyss.
I am told …he is there. Jump off and you will see.
I ask, why can’t he reveal himself to me? Then I will believe!
I am told Jump off, and THEN you will see, he will catch you in his arms, he will guide your ship,
he will surround you …he is THERE.

But what if? what if one jumps off, and still doesn’t see?
what then?

that is where i was….believing in what i did not see.

The existence of God cannot be proven; it must be accepted by faith.

And yet…I have the ability to reason, to question, to desire to know and understand, I have the ability to use critical thinking skills
and I know that on any other subject, it is reasonable to not accept something on “faith” without evidence.

In fact if a human buys something that is said to make his hair grow, or his something else grow, 😉 or will make pounds magically disappear,
or a tie that is ‘blessed” and will bring good fortune, he is considered gullible.

And yet the “salvation” offered by christiandom has the same ring to it. a guarantee. life after death, get out of hell free card.
Cost? your life…but really…
the ability to believe what you cannot see.

Is this fair? or just? or….reasonable?
Why the necessary faith factor?

Would you marry someone if they promised that they loved you, but there was no evidence?

would you make a lifetime commitment to such a contract? Marry me first, then you will see i love you and will take care of you, I have seven million dollars waiting for you in a swiss bank account, i just need your name, address and bank account number for transfer….
(oh did i mention it is an email that was forwarded to you? )

Would you find it reasonable for a person to have questions?



  1. If anyone claims that questioning is somehow unreasonable then its safe to say that person is either hiding something, or is insane.

    • agreed. I think most will say questions are good. But in the same breath…
      “you will not understand until you have faith” …
      the post this morning was inspired by …
      you will love it…

      • Gakeat

        In the end, the difference between theists and non theists is faith that at least one god or goddess exists. In the end I realize I that I do lack said faith. So I need to ask myself now what.

        • It was a scary place for me at first. But the realization that not much would change in how I actually live….surprised me.

          • Gakeat

            I actually know for me the only real difference in my life would be about an hour on Sunday morning. I will be taking a small leap in abyss tomorrow morning by not going to any religious service at all for the first time.

            • Ah, you will have to let me know how you enjoy your day then. 🙂
              For me, the letting go of church was a bit of a process. I played the organ, piano, and sang and was a big part of the music service. I really enjoyed it, but as my …theology changed…and my own life view began changing, i began having deep struggles playing songs that I know longer held to the words. I tried everything. I tried convincing myself that if God were there, he could use me like he did the jackass to speak to a human right? even if i didn’t believe…if i were willing to be used he could still….use me…
              but the struggle became even harder in my own justification to continue…
              the “blood songs” (There is power in the blood, What can Wash away my sins?, The Blood of Jesus, Battle Hymn of the Republic, Lamb of God, all the easter and communion songs etc etc)
              began becoming impossible to play (and sing)without struggling with immense guilt, and feelings of hypocrisy.
              I began to feel as if I was supporting something that was…a bit …evil.
              I felt guilty for leaving ….I loved the people there, and yet at the same time, I knew i could not continue in the new place i was in. I had to let it all go.

              • Gakeat

                I chickened out, and ended up going to a Church after my meeting, and it was not the UU that I have attended during my deconversion process. Sorry. The day will come when I quit completely (I have been church hopping for about 4 and a half years now, but my deconversion process has been about 2 years now). Oh well.

                • Thislife is but a journey.
                  Some steps are harder then others. There is comfort to be taken in the lnowledge thatwe do not walk alone. Mayyou enjoy the steps on your journey my friend. Youae not alone.

  2. Gakeat

    I know in my head that what you are saying here is true, but I still “feel” like yes but. I guess what I believe in, which may not be right is the God of the gaps. Thanks for the thoughtful post.

  3. Hello Holly! Nice to hear from you. 🙂
    What you write reminds me of Kierkegaard, I’ve been reading some of his work. I find I can follow his arguments most of the time, but then he does his ‘leap of faith’ and I’m left behind, looking at the abyss. Well, as Nietzsche said (more or less) if I just keep staring I’ll find the abyss is looking back at me, too! Whether that’s a sufficient answer to any of the questions you mention….Probably not….

  4. John

    Hi, I am from Australia.
    Is there really an abyss, or an Infinitely Radiant Field of Conscious Light or Love-Bliss-Feeling-Energy?

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